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the covert economy of capitol hill parking enforcement
[google map in new window]
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do not kid yourself. you've lived in brooklyn? manhattan? south beach miami? that was nothing. you will not escape this, so just pay the damn thing online as soon as you get it (convenient link below) because they also boot -- liberally. i see more boots in one week here than in every other city i've lived in put together.
their numbers are great, their legend, no exaggeration. i scientifically estimate that there is one golf-cart-driving meter maid for every three cars parked in capitol hill. they work every hour of the day and every hour of the night. you will get a ticket at 4:35am. you will forget it is one of the first five days of the month, or an odd numbered day, or secretary's day, and you will get a ticket. you will miraculously find a parallel parking spot and you will get a ticket for being less than five enormous pointlessly wasted feet from a driveway. you will get a ticket for your registration or inspection being expired (while you are parked). unless promptly upon receiving that citation you blow up your car, or go park it in wyoming, you will get the same ticket again the next day. and the next day (100% true).
while we're at it, there's a very serious red-light camera at 6th and lincoln and fancy little speed camera wielding mini-vans parked in driveways off speer.
denver local government is not ashamed of the heaping sums of cash they are able to rake in simply by hiring a small fleet of (thousands of) minimum-wage-earning parking enforcement officers. it is their brilliant little hidden economy, and you are not better than it. you will participate. many, many times (rose).
if you have a little time and masochism on your hands, i do though recommend taking advantage of the walk-in basis people's parking court offered at 201 W Colfax. it sometimes works and they'll dismiss your ticket, like the ones that in no way represent how or when you parked your car (100% true) - bring photos or some kind of court-worthy evidence. you might try one of those special colored plastic binders you bought for highschool term papers with the see-through cover, and make a title page, and footnotes. you literally just walk in, take a number, and then enter a small room where a parking magistrate (or some such title) will hear your case. you will stand 17 feet below them, at floor level, looking up at the countertop which is above your head, over which they may or may not peer down at you as you attempt to summon the basic dignity and composure to adequately state your case.
but hey, i'll give them this, who's ever heard of walk-in-court to fight your parking ticket? i think it exists cause denver's a pretty awesome place and they know that the over-enthusiasm of this system is a big covert fuck you to the 4 million simple folk who legitimately rent apartments in capitol hill and presumably drive and all have to park on the same block of sherman st. so, this afterthought alice-in-wonderland proportioned courtroom is how they sleep at night.
for your convenience, you can click the pay-by-web link below and then enter the citation number you got while reading all of that.
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Denver Public Office Buildings
Parking Cashier's Office
201 W. Colfax Ave., Dept. 110
Monday - Friday, 8am - 5pm
(720) 865-7500[google map in new window]https://wmq.etimspayments.com/pbw/include/denver/input.jsp
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